Seeing the Sun in the Deep Sky

April has finally brought sunny days. I have moved to the village for a two-week vacation and enjoy sun-gazing outdoors several times a day. I put a paper mask under my eyes, to avoid skin over-drying and wrinkling. The sun is not yet very hot, so my sessions can be quite long without overheating, even at midday.

And I have discovered a beautiful thing I'd like to share. Usually at the beginning of sun-gazing, it's hard to look at the sky and the sun, without squinting and blinking too frequently and hardly. Also I often have attacks of sudden sleepiness that forcefully shuts my eyelids and rolls up my eyes. I already know these are symptoms of mental strain. I keep sitting in the sun rays doing nothing, just relaxing and enjoying. Suddenly it feels like a fresh breeze touches my face and I become fully awake. I open my eyes easily and widely, no longer feeling the urge to blink, and see the sun with perfect comfort and joy. The entire sky appears different. It becomes so deep and so blue, and the air seems so clear. When there are white clouds or a tree branch in the field of view, they appear unusually deep, three-dimensional and clear. I also notice the universal swing. This state lasts for few seconds, 5-10. Then I have the attacks of strain again, but they tend to be shorter and less with each time. Needless to say that my sight is greatly improved after this sun-gazing, temporarily.

I hope I have found the right way of sun-gazing. Or at least the right result of it. I think this is what Rishi meant when he said he could sun-gaze without discomfort for 45 seconds and more. At that time I was confused to hear it, because I could spend much more time in the sun, without scotomata. But this "full depth" state really lasts only few seconds, and I will be looking to make it longer.

Routine Failure

I dropped the routine described in my previous post after almost a month of following it. The lesson I have learned is that once a practice becomes a routine -- something tedious, boring, and scheduled in time, it becomes pure effort, strain and nervousness, at least for me. Actually, I felt great relief when I no longer had to palm every hour, and I can bet even my vision a bit improved. :)

Because the routine failed, for a couple of weeks afterward I tried doing the opposite -- did not practice at all and watched myself. My vision did not worsen and at the beginning was even better than at the end of the routine month. So, the other lesson I have learned was that one should continuously change and try different things, as soon as the previous things stop working. Boredom and tiredness are forms of strain.

The best environment for successful practice, at least for me, appears when I know that I don't have to do anything "Bates", and there are no limits in time. I can do it just for fun to explore how my mind works, or just to entertain myself.